13 Fantasy Finals
In the beginning, Final Fantasy really was supposed to be final. The last ditch effort to save an ailing company from fried doom. I guess it… worked? Twenty-two years later we’re staring down the barrell of the 13th installment of the main series, and it looks pretty freaking sweet.
Final Fantasy EX EYE EYE EYE is stamped with a 2010 release date. Agonisingly long. For now we’ll have to be content with the trickling out of gameplay and story trailers, and other miscellanea. Some choice bits:
- The game features a female protagonist, a big change from the usual “basically a girl with an implied penis” male lead.
- Her name is Lightning, or as I like to say it: LIGHTNING. Then I stare some dude off. We may never fully understand the FF team’s obsession with weather and dihydrogen monoxide themed names. One of the other characters is named Sudz.
- Sudz is actually Denzel Washington from an alternate universe where he became a merchant communist. Sudz keeps a chicken in the top of his afro.
- One character looks like they’re a gypsy. Side-quests involving horse theft, I hope.
- The gameplay seems to combine the real time maps of FFXII and the turn based monkey business of other things called Final Fantasy.
The visuals are looking predictably gorgeous, although it does nothing to lessen their appeal. And I welcome a step back with the battle system, since playing FFXII felt like saving the world by proxy. Stay tuned for more epic. Yes, it still counts as epic if they’re just doing the same old shite.
I know, right! A chicken in his hair! Amazing!